Hi Julie:) If she gets more agitated when you approach, she’s telling you she’s already too far down the ’emotional rabbit hole’ and needs to de-escalate before any verbal exchange will be helpful. She has already lost most access to her prefrontal cortex, or thinking brain, at that point, so the only option is to safely take space until everyone is back to baseline. Practicing how to handle this when everyone is calm is very helpful to have a ‘go-to’ plan in the moment. Another great option is to have a code word or hand signal she gives you, when she needs space. Have you tried any of these things?

However there are times, I will my best to continue to speak calmly to her, difficult as it may be, but she just continues to retaliate and I feel she is taking advantage of me/ pushing the envelope to see how far she can go.
How can I improve the situation? She is my only child.