Thank you for writing this, it actually made me feel emotional to read the words and realise how I’m feeling.

My sister and brother in law have a 4 year old son that we are certain has ADHD. My BIL was diagnosed with it in his childhood. My nephew has so many behavioral issues due to it. He cannot sit still, pay attention, he’s aggressive with other children, hyperactive, and so many other things. His behavior is so bad that I will not even allow my own children around him anymore because I am concerned about their safety, sadly. My nephew has bitten, punched and kicked both of my children (ages 2 & 3). He has been kicked out of 3 daycares so far. His behavior has taken such a large emotional toll on my sister and I have been researching ADHD like crazy recently.

My sister has been proactive with my nephew (assessments, enrolling him in a special ed daycare, meeting with specialists, ect). But all of these things seem meaningless due to my BIL.

My BIL has almost no patience, he acts before he thinks, and has a raging temper. He cannot hold a job more than a year at the most due to his behavior. He started spanking my nephew when he was 18 months old. Yes, 18 months. In my opinion no child should be spanked. But an 18 month old? No child that age can understand the consequences of their actions. That’s how short his temper is. After my nephew was kicked out of the second daycare, my dear BIL drove to the facility with my nephew and screamed and cursed at the staff for kicking my nephew out… ALL IN FRONT OF MY NEPHEW.

Sometimes when my BIL gets frustrated with my nephew, he will let him watch a tablet or tv for countless hours just to keep him quiet so he won’t have to pay attention to him. One day my BIL told my sister he let my nephew sit on their tablet for 5 straight hours. Are you kidding me?

How can a parent of an ADHD child expect their child to control their emotions and behave appropriately when the parent themselves cannot? My nephew is already facing an uphill battle with ADHD and my BIL’s poor parenting is making it worse.

My BIL’s own ADHD is obviously detrimental and makes him a less than ideal parent. I rarely see this ever discussed or addresses on ADHD forums and blogs.

I’m so sorry things have been so challenging. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your sitution. I sincerley hope you are all getting the support you need and are coming up for a breath. Angela

They aren’t going to pass, I’m probably going to get fired. The spiral is real and all the patience isn’t saving us. One of us is crying all the time. I love them with every ounce of my being, they are amazing.

This too shall pass but the wreckage that is left in their wake is real.

I needed this reminder. I feel I’ve been a little hard on my 5 year old ADHD daughter and it breaks my heart but I just get so frustrated. I constantly tell her the same things over and over but she just doesn’t seem to grasp it. My 2 year old daughter can do things I ask better than my 5 year old. It is extremely overwhelming for myself and I am trying to cope with her behavior. Thank you for this read.

The hardest part for me is being human, I have strengths and I have weaknesses. I struggle to go with any type of flow, I have plans, contingency plans, and emergency backup plans. My daughter is the exact opposite, she is a what she wants, when she wants it, consequences be damned, blow up and be aggressive until everyone else backs down kid.

I am still learning to forgive myself for my mistakes. Finding a balance between my being over bearing or her literally running the show feels almost impossible. Give an inch and she takes the rope, ties you to the chair and demands ransom snacks.

Anyway, thanks for a great article with a few suggestions I am going to try.

So glad you found this at the right time. Thank you so much for your kind words:)