Leone, ee all make mistakes in parenting- to be sure…as she sees you react with increased calm/understanding in the future she will re-learn that it’s safe to express herself. It’s always a great lesson for kids to see caregivers practice humility and apologize when they mess-up:). You’re a great parent for taking this all into consideration, thanks for reading!

how can i help her to not be scared to talk again and be her spirited self again.

Hi, it’s not easy but have hope. I have a friend that had her husband (severly ADHD, really bad, with medications and even in a mental hospital) and she had her 7 year old aswell. She was pregnant with another baby at the moment her husband was in the MH. She seeked help with counsellers and all that field and they did help her but she found affective and permanent help when she found the Lord Jesus Christ. (It may seem funny or with no sense for you but this is true). She was attending a bible beleiving spirit filled church and she prayer and beleived what God’s word said.. Thank be to God her husband is fine with her at home working having his own buisness. Her 7 year old is much better and improved.

This article is really good and i will use alot of tips and alot of them shows God’s heart because when we correct our children out of frustration it will lead more frustration to them and it will only increase there bad behaviour, and they will likely act like that with others even with us.. God is a mercyfull God, and loving, faithfull, and if we are not faithfull HE still is, so the best way is to be like Him with our kids. Time outs works realy good (even tho for a couple of weeks they will mock u and won’t care or scream really bad) but it does work once we get the hang of it.. Another thing we have to do is when for example you tell your child don’t eat sweets before dinner and he or she disobeys, we should approach them something like this ” honey i told you not to eat before dinner because it will close your apitite, i really would have loved it if you’d have obeyed me because you love your mummy like your mummy loves you. Now you know when we disobey there are consequances even when we get older, so now i have to not let you eat any sweets today. I wish you have respected my desicion when i said not to eat it. But to every bad desicion there is a consequance”.. Something like that. The thing is to show them why we are doing it (in love, not in frustration or because they are bothring us) and if they don’t obey authority there is a consequance (always in love because they have to know that they are loved and they have great value and they should not behave less they who they are). Im still learning at this but it works and you are building good and valuble children with good morals and respective to authority. It’s ok for once in a while to give them another chance like telling them “ok lets try it again”. It’s good to show mercy somtimes.

Importantly we do not take advantage of our authority on our kids because it will effect them in the future with other authorities.. hoped this help and i will be praying for you dear. And i totaly agree your good parent for searching for help. May God bless you and keep you.. Romans chapter 2 verse 4 God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance. Same for our kids its kidness that leads to repentance not fear. Blessings

Hi Sara, I so identify with your struggles, as we have the exact same issues in our home. It is soooo challenging to deal with executive functioning delays, which are directly related to the sneaking/lying/impulsivity. I do find myself having to raise my voice with 6 year old with ADHD, and am trying to find a tone that is not critical or harsh, but louder and to the point. Does this make sense? Taking the emotions out of it and just increasing volume to get her to attend to the request. It feels like you’re banging your head against a brick wall sometimes when the same behaviors occur repeatedly but it really is the condition and isn’t likely to change overnight or with any specific intervention, but with time and developmental growth and consistent teaching. If we can stay consistent, firm and supportive while teaching why the limit is in place and the related natural consequence- many of these things will dissipate as they grow (but yikes it may take until their teens or beyond:/). If we consistently add shame and criticism to the mix we are only fueling the behaviors and then added anxiety ect. So while it may not seem your interventions are effective, you will see in the long run that they are. Feel free to email me if you have further questions. You are a great parent for getting her support. It is a challenging road for sure, I am right there with you. I am thinking of starting a membership group on fb this year for conscious parenting and kids with behavioral challenges so join our newsletter if you haven’t yet! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment.